I don’t think I can provide a suitable title for this

Umiiyak na naman ako, but not at this very moment. There were tearful dawns again. (dawns? madaling araw! hindi gabi dahil madaling araw ako gising para mag-aral) Love songs make me remember him – the guy I loved so much but never have the courage to show or tell him how I feel. Who am I to admit my feelings anyway? Tell me how selfish I was when I loved him, I dare you to stay in my feet and you’d know how hurtful, painful, tearful, jarring and somewhat annoying to be in this situation. I just couldn’t so anything to stop this pain, sabagay, it’s my decision to love him, yeah, according to my orient facilitator, love’s a decision, and because love’s defined that way, it only means that it’s my decision to get all of these tears and pain.When I loved him, I dared to face the challenges, I accepted the possible sacrifices, tears and all. Haay, pag-ibig nga naman, kasi naman, bakit hindi na lang made of stone ang heart ko (sam soon?!) haha! Behind the tears, nakukuha ko pang magbiro! Ganun lang naman kasi ako. Despite the pain, I can still manage to look up to myself and smile. SIguro nga, ngayon lang effective yung usual line ko before na “after him, wala na muna, hanggang sa kanya na lang muna, etc. etc.” I guess, it’s true now coz, I couldn’t find myself liking another person. Nakakatawa, hindi naman kasi ako sobrang loyal kapag hindi rin ako love, after a while, nawawala, pero sa kanya, hindi, bakit kaya until now, siya pa rin?, btw, malapit na mag-one year since I had this feeling.
It’s only last Friday since I realized that he was the first guy whom I loved like this, I never knew he was the first until I found myself doing everything just to be with him, or see him in little terms. I thought it was really ** whom I loved so much because I had no doubts when it comes with him but my friend’s right in saying that you couldn’t love a person that much if you don’t really know him., and that’s it, I had little infornation about him because we had a short meeting and we had a short, . I don’t know if you could call that friendship.

Happy One Year!

Yey! Happy first year of blogging to me! hehe! It’s been a year na pala!

FS Bus, Da Vinci Talk, Quiz Quiz Quiz

FS BUS
fucking St. Anthony bus 88014! nasiraan! OMG, in just two weeks nakastrike 2 kami ni aj! anyhow, when I rode san agustin, i didn’t pay any bucks naman so parang medyo medyo okay na.

DA VINCI TALK
I stayed until 2:30 coz Dr. Almandrez required us to attend the Da Vinci Talk. I was a little sleepy during the talk but may pumasok na guy, he’s really goodlooking, so medyo may nakatuwaan kami ni Aj, then, umalis yung katabi ko, ang umupo yung cute guy, hahaha, kaya natatawa talaga ako. hehe. Pero wala lang yun. hehe.. ganun naman ako these past few months, matutuwa lang kasi cute yung guy, pero wala lang. Maybe because there’e this someone who’s hurting me but I still consider him very dear and very special.
In line with the talk, I wanna make kwento about the attendance thing. After the talk, I looked for Mae to ask for the attendance,
ME: Mae, may attendance ba?
MAE: Oo, pero hindi ko na alam kung nasaan. may naghahawak kasi nun.
ME: ganun ba, sige, thanks.

Since I was with Aj, I asked her if we could go straight to the department before we have our cuper duper late lunch, she agreed. Then, we went to the Theology department to ask Dr. Almandrez about the attendance thing. I entered the room but I saw that she was about to go out, so I went outside and waited for her, I was a little nervous coz I was afraid she might scold me. but here’s what happened:

ME: Ma’am tanong ko lang po yung sa attendance, hindi po kasi ako nakasign.
DR. ALMANDREZ: Yung sa attendance wag mo na intindihin yun. Ayos na sa kin yung makita kita.
ME: Sige po, thank you po.
DR. ALMANDREZ: Maganda, hindi ba?
then smiled. hehe, I felt like something was removed from my throat. haha!

QUIZ, QUIZ, QUIZ

I have deppresingly low scores in my ARTSCHE short quizzes, those 3 fucking quizzes won’t hinder me, coz starting from now, I’ll study harder, I promise.

Well this mownin:
we had a long quiz in intphil
we had a quiz in artsche and we’d have a long quiz on friday: and I’d be wearing formal?! huh?! i don’t know if the clothing i have in mind will be formal. haha. I’ll be wearing skirt and I hope it won’t rain! haha!

When Days Get Like Duh?!!!

* I had a lazy Monday!

* It sucks when you make a sign that you wanna make “sakay” even if you have to stand already but the bus driver won’t stop to let you take the ride! I really hate it when I have to wait for abput more or less 20 minutes!

* This thing was one big *UC*!!! “Nasiraan yung San Agustin”! We (Aj and I) paid the fare already and we were already comfortably seated! What The fuck! The bus stopped for a reason we didn’t know and couldn’t understand! The heat was Up! As in because the aircon turned off when the bus stopped! After a few minutes, the bus went okay, while we were taking on Roxas Boulevard, the bus stopped again and then the aircon was off again! We were looking for something to use as our fans since it was so hot inside the bus! We couldn’t decide whether to stay inside or ride another bus or fx, but we were thinking about our fare which we paid already! My fare was 20++ bucks and it was like “sa hirap ng buhay ngayon, basta pwedeng ipamasahe, sayang na!” We didn’t have the choice but to go down the bus since “hopeless na!” What made our anger blurted was when we asked the “kundoktor” to have our fares back so we could ride another bus or fx, but he was a big fucking SNOB!!!! We were making “parinig” because of that scumbag! I wanted to brag him but I still have this “respect” for older peepz! It was just annoying coz he was snobbing us! I understand him, somehow, because it’s really irritating to be in that situation but. “pwede ba! hindi naman namin kasalanan na masiraan yung bus! pwede ba yung supladuhan kami?!”

*What the heck! Wednesday wasn’t fun at all!”Badtrip sa bus!” There’s this guy na “sobrang makadikit!” “Kainis! Bwisit!”
And here’s another FS! I got a very lowscore in my Artsche quiz! What the hell! I stayed up late! “Ang itim itim na ng ilalim ng mata ko!!!”, and all that! suddenly “di ko na maalala yung mga nabasa ko!” it’s like you know this and you know that, suddenly, everything went like pfffft! FS ayt? “Sayang naman” my score on the first quiz: 13.5/16! Aaarg! “Pati nung Friday! AAArrrggg!!!!! I’d make “bawi”! Really! Swear! Swear! Swear!

Someone?Something?Makes Me Smile

Hmm, I don’t know, hehe.I’m confused. I don’t know if someone or something makes me smile these past few days. Hehe. All I know is that I’m quite happy with school coz my profs aren’t terror. Although I always have a quiz in chem coz that’s what Dr. Ilao said (- a quiz every meeting), I still get to sleep and rest for a while, check my friendster account as well as my myspace account. My relstwo problem seemed to have a solution coz this sunday, I’ll be able to work on the parish’s office and have my attendance, btw, I’ll be doing it for 5 weeks so that will be for the whole month of june from 9-11 am.
Crush? nah! I don’t think I have now, coz I’m not capable of liking anybody else after him, although I admit, he’s still special and he will always be. Imagine!That’s what he did to me.