120th Post

FLATTERED
I wanna take this post to say Thank You to my intphil prof, sir unson for appreciating the way I write. I want to share a liitle conversation that happened yesterday during my INTPHIL class.

Sir Unson: Sinong SOPHIA dito?
(SOPHIA members raised their hands, including me)
Sir Unson: umaatend ba kayo ng mga activities?
(we answered:Conflict sa ibang org)
Sir Unson: bakit ano pa bang iba niyong org?
(sir unson asked someone first then he asked me also)
Ikaw Ms. Camet?
ME: WG po
Sir Unson: Ano yun?
ME: Writers Guild po.
Sir Unson: Ah, talaga? Writers Guild ka?
Me: Opo.
Sir Unson: Kaya pala magaling kang magsulat.
(i just smiled coz i didn’t know how to react)
Sir Unson: Hindi, totoo, nabasa ko dun sa essay part ng first exam. Perfect ka ba dun sa first quiz?
Me: Hmm,(i nodded with a smile)
(nagkakalokohan sa class)
Sir Unson: Sa susunod hindi na. hehe
Me: Ang sama (with a smile)
Sam: Sa susunod ako naman perfect. (laugh)

Sir Unson, thank you! hehe! I’m flattered! So much! It’s heartwarming to know that someone appreciates the way I express my feelings. ***sigh***
For those who haven’t taken up INTPHIL and for those who still have PHILO classes, I recommend Sir Unson, he’s so kind, i’m not sipsip here but i’m telling the truth, he won’t burden you, he can really make hard subjects easy to understand. I hope, the second quiz will be easy like the first, I want to get a perfect score again coz I’m aiming for a 4.0 in Intphil!

LEARNING TO LET GO
Oh yes, I may have been a good pretender before, but now, i’m releasing all the bitterness, every single day,, I’m learning to live my life without his presence, I mean, I’m learning to let go, I’ve made up my mind that we would never work out as _____________ now and I guess there’s a little chance that the “US” could still work out like before. I don’t know, time could all the wounds but I don’t know if time could bring us back as ________.

Grrrr

I was pissed off soooooo much!!!! Imagine, I didn’t eat lunch because I have to enrol myself!!!! Grrr, then the server was down for 2-3 hours. AHHHHH!!! GRRRR!!!! Pano kaya sa inter-college!!!!??? haay nako. Thank God I was able to enrol the subjects that I’ve written and planned.

online enrollment

few minutes more then the server will be complicated again. actually, at this point, the server’s slow already, i hope, the server will bge very useful for the next hour!!! OH, fate, please permit, i wanna get a nice sked for the second term.

wheeeewww, i’m a little bit tensed coz i’m serious in having all my classes in the morning, i hate breaks, that’s why i’ll be patient enough when hunger calls. gooossshhh, i hate this kind of feeling – tension, i don’t even have the right to pee coz if i am to, then, this pc will be occupied by another person and i cannot enrol myself fast. waaaaa, gossshhh, i’m tensed, i’m hungry but i don’t have the right to eat for the moment.

m gonna leave for now.
shux!!!!

good luck to me

For You

I will love again, even if it takes a lifetime to get over you, heaven only knows, I know one day, I’ll love again.
-Lara Fabian(I will love Again)

I didn’t know what magical powers you possess that made me fall in love with you. I welcomed you with open arms years ago, spent happy memories with you and all, but how were we now? Or should I ask, was the “WE” still exist?because the”you” went away?or the “I” closed the doors recently?

I loved you and accepted evrything about you. I cherished everything we had. We had countless memories to keep, but now, each possibility of ’sharing’ memories again tends to fade away every second of the day. I scrupulously kept my feelings from the very start. It was so hard and painful. It was hurting to be with you but never had the oportunity and courage to show you my love. I knew, you didn’t tell me to love you, but, to tell you honestly, I did everything I could to keep myself from loving you, but fate must be playing and fooling around when it srucked me. Love went along from then until now, but, bitterness came too at this point. I felt bitter because you ignored my existence, and you seemed to disregard what we had. I pretended that everything’s just normal, but I failed. You continuously acted as if nothing much happened, and then, I got tired. I wasn’t bitter because you like someone else nor I didn’t want to see you happy, I felt that way because you oftentimes ignored my existence.

I couldn’t cry anymore because my eyes had gone dry already. I might be loving you until this very moment, but I knew,I’d love again, someday, soon, and there would be no more “US”.

Love look what you’ve done to me. Bakit hindi na lang pwedeng magmahalan ang lahat? Kung sana, pwede, wala nang masasaktan sa mundonng ‘to! Why do I bleed when all I do is LOVE? Bakit hindi ka na lang dumating sa mga taong kayang mahalin ang isa’t isa? You’re the most wonderful yet the most painful that can ever exist in this world.

Priceless Words for my friends

Hannibal peepz, miss you na! esp sa mga palagi kong nakakasama at nakakatext!

may mga special messages ako para sa ilang mga tao:

TIN
bezzy! miss you so much! i’m not sure if you’ll get to read this pero if ever, you let me know, you can leave a message in my shoutbox or you can text me. My school life has never been the same since we went to college. Sobrang namimiss ko na yung mga inseparable days natin nung high school, but, that’s life, we have to move on, as you always tell me. love you bezzy! see you soon!!!!

GAZELLE
miss you little sis. hindi na kita nakakatext. hope to see you soon!

TROPANG BRATZ
miss ko na kayo guys! so parang puro i miss you na lang tong blog. hehe. paramdam naman kayo!!!!!! mahal ko kayong lahat. alam ko namang hindi niyo to mababasa. hehe. wala lang, epal mode lang. haha

BRYAN
ewan ko nga kung nagbabasa ka ng mga blog! hehe. habang tinatype ko to, papaunta na siya, oo, sana gets mo na kung sino ang tinutukoy ko, haha. hindi si ano ha, hindi yung pinoporoblema ko haha. bsta, miss you na rin, hehe.

TETS
hoi! namimiss ko na yung term gaga mo. hehe. sa kin mo lagi sinasabi yun. hehe. lalo na pag na loloka ako sa pag-ebeg at pagsintang yan. haha. love you soul sistah! pag nakita ko ulit siya, ipararating ko ang matamis mong OO este HI pala. hehe!

CHAI
happy birthday! i’m going. hehe. hindi ko lang sure kung may gift akong madadala, poor ako ngayon e, dami gastos,haha, pero try ko parin. wehehe.

JANATOOTZ
sana mabasa mo to. hehe. tayo lang naman ang nagbabasa ng blog ng mga han. haha. miss na kita bruha! sabihin mo lang kung magpaparty ka, hehe. kayo ni bryan ang alam mo na kung ano ang tinutukoy ko. yung pinag-uusapan natin nung vacation hehe. luvshu ja!

KATE
I LINK mo naman kami sa blog mo! haha!miss you!

NICA MAY
mare, miss na kita! text ka lang pag free ka. hehe.

****sa mga hindi ko nabanggit*****
miss ko na rin naman kayo. wlang samaan ng loob. hehe!
LIANA ===>> di na kit nakaksabay sa shuttle! hehe! congratz! 2nd honors sa dl, at kay LEE==>> congrats din!!!

Filipino Post Again

gusto kong i-express ang post na to sa lengwaheng ginagamit ko at posibleng gagamitin sa trabahong gusto kong gawin, kung hindi man, at least, maaari ko pa ring gamitin ito sa araw-araw. so, heto na ang simula ng post na ‘to:

ewan ko ba?! sobrang ewan tong feeling ko, “weird”. MAsama ang loob ko sa kanya pero kinukwento ko pa rin siya sa mga friends ko. Sabi ko, I don’t care for him anymore pero he’s still included in my everyday stories, super monotonous na nga yung mga stories ko, thankful na lang ako at may mga nakikinig. hehe.

sa mga oras na to, nasa cybernook lang ako, walang magawa kaya’t nag-eexpress na naman ako ng mga unending thoughts and monotonous feelings ko for him,. I must admit, ganun nga lang siguro ako pag may gusto ako sa isang tao, i don’t tell him straght to the point, duh? hindi ako katulad ni gabriela silang noh?!! kung dati, masyado akong obvious pag may crush ako sa isang tao, ngayon, hindi ko naman maipalaiwanag kung ano ang inaarte ko, lalo na kapag nakikita ko siya, yung sobrang hiya, understood yun, yung tipong kinakabahan at parang sobrang uneasy ka sa kinalalagyan mo, pero yung ayaw mo siyang makita at iniiwasan mo pa, weird dba? ewan ko ba, siguro, i’m hurting lang kaya ganito ang kinikilos ko. minsan nga, pinagdarasal ko na sana hindi ko siya makita, weird talaga, mahal ko yung tao pero ayaw ko namang makita, irony right?! haay nako, malamang din kasi, hindi ko rin maintindihan ang mga kinikilos niya, naguguluhan din naman kasi ako sa kanya.

DRAMA MODE: trip ko lang magsenti at magdrama. lahat na yata ng bagay naiaassociate ko sa kanya. palagi ko siyang naaalala. dati, humihingi ako ng signs kay Lord, sabi ko, kung makakakita ako nga_______________________________,_____________________ at may isa pang sign na ayoko nang banggitin dito, ibig sabihin, may pag-asa pa kami it may not be now sa future siguro or kung tama bang i-continue ko ang feelings ko for him, basta, inisip ko, kung bibigyan ako ng sign ni God, ibig sabihin, positive yung ibig niyang sabihin.. so in a way, naniwala ako na baka nga tama yung nafi-feel ko, so tinuloy ko lang, pero there was never a time na inamin ko sa kanya kung ano yung nararamdaman ko, kung nakakahalata siya, bahala siya, basta wala akong sinasabi. Pero after a while, walang nangyari, inisip ko, baka hindi naman totoo yung mga signs, baka talagang nagkataon lang. Ewan ko ba, ngayon ko lang to aaminin sa blog pero few months ago na rin to na tapos, one time, nasa chapel ako, basta nagpepray lang ako, sabi ko, love ko siya, etc. etc. suddenly, naramdaman ko, nangingilid na luha ko, ewan ko ba, naisip ko, siguro, talagang love ko lang siya. Ewan ko kung anong meron siya, hindi siya talagang gwapo, pero he knows how to carry himself well. Kung yun ang pag-uusapan, wala talaga akong maipipintas sa kanya. ang mahirap lang kasi, insensitive siya. sorry for the term, yuna ng tingin ko, or let’s just put it this way, nakakaramdam siya ng mga bagay pero he won’t mind them at all.

Haay, buhay nga naman. Hindi mo talaga masasabi kung kailan ka magiging masaya.
Pansin ko. masyado ng mahaba ‘to. so, pano. i gotta end here.

Closed Doors; Closed Windows

My door’s not open for him. I have let him go a few weeks ago. My heart has been broken by him for the “NTH TIME”. I cried the last tears for him a few nights ago. I tried to pretend that everything’s just normal, but I could no longer take the truth. Truth hurts as they say. I didn’t know how many times I have been broken, and I just disn’t know either how was I able to put back the broken pieces.
It hurts to see him change without knowing or hearing his reasons. How could he act like nothing ttok place at all and at the same time treating me like I don’t exist? I’m only human (as the song goes), I know what’s hurting and what’s not, I know the difference between I can still, and I can no longer, I know when to weep and when to stop.
From now on, I’d better stop caring about him. I promise to be numb when it concerns him. I promise to treat him as if he doesn’t exist or be a total stranger to him. I know this wasn’t good but I could no longer withstand the situation, everything that happened would be enough to give him up. If this was what God planned, I’d accept evrything with open arms, if God would say that we have no chance at all to rekindle what we had made before, I’d accept the pain.
I want to end this blog by saying : I’m already fed up. It’s hard to continue loving someone who wasn’t made for you.

Etc

* i saw him this morning! wehehe! nakasabay ko siya sa elevator! haha! mar and i agreed, he looks like ** aww!! i wanna see him again!

*we still don’t have the steps for our artapre presentation! too bad!

* i don’t have a crush right now, but i’m in love with this person, but I don’t think we still have the same thing as before, a lot of things changed and I guess, we’re not okay right now, we’re heading different lives and I guess, he’s completely happy, contented amd satisfied without me!

*my plan’s really on-going! I’m serious about putting myself on the dl again! I was once a dl on my formr school but dlsu’s different from ssc, i’m presently enrolled in dlsu and i’m brave enough to say that i wanna graduate with flying colours.

*i wanna shop for clothes again! I’m looking for a nice bag and a sandals that wud f w/ my nice feet! hahaha!

My Whole Week

Monday: Well, nothing much happened except i had a hard time riding the bus coz they won’t stop! FS! I thought I’d be late for my first claz, but, well, God’s good, I wasn’t. And I just want to complement to our short skit, twas fun. hahahahahaha!
Tuesday: The hell day, coz we had an exam. I thought I’d faint during my artapre class coz I had a headache, and I felt like my world’s turning around. Thank God, Aj asked me if I wanted to eat, I agreed, of course!
Wednesday: I had to wear skirt though it was raining hard! I didn’t know what to react, artschea54 was saved by Florita, we didn’t have the seconcd long test coz classes were suspended.!
Thursday: No Classes! Bwahahahaha! Ms. Pe texted me that our dance presentation was moved next week, Thursday! whew! Thank God!
Friday: The quiz was like duh?! Gosh! I didn’t know the answers! I just guessed a lot! Goodness! Bahala na si Batman!

CHARMIE

I wanna take this post to greet my friend CHArMIe, I’m not sure if she’d get to read this. DO hopE So.!!!

happy 18th birthday charmie! miss you! hugs! mwmwmwahh! luvhsu!see yah around TAft.