Reminding Me

“I try to run from your side

But each place I hide

It only reminds me of you”

Okay, so nagpapakasenti na naman ako. ANg drama ko talaga. LAging *emo* mode.

So ganito, naaalala ko na naman siya. Akala ko wala na, pero siyempre, parte talaga ng existence ng lahat ang magkamali. HIndi ko naman sinasabi na isang pagkakamali ang makilala ko siya, I just mean na, nagkamali ako na akala ko wala na, pero meron pa. Hindi ko nga alam kung bakit kahit saan ako magpunta naaalala ko pa rin siya. Hmmm, siguro hindi lang kasi talaga madali ang kalimutan ang isang tao esp. kung naging importante siya talaga sa’yo.

Vanity Shot

feeling photographer and model, Haha. sorry if my closet is not organized, hehe =D

for more pics

visit my multiply

okay so what will I say as an ending:

I am beautiful, no matter what they say

Words can’t bring me down

(hehe. Beautiful by Christina Aguilera)

I Hope that Soon is Now

how can you really mend a broken heart?

how can you go on without turning back?

I really do not know how to move on without looking back.I thought I can really get over him now. Yes, I’ve accepted that we’ll never meant to be butwhat I do not understand is that I can’t really forget everything about him. I thought I like this other guy, and, yes, but, I still can’t erase him in my system. My friends used to dislike him now because of the story I told them. I’ve been hurt by his words and even by his sweetness, and I still can’t understand why up to now, he still occupies a little space in my life. I don’t regret meeting him and getting along with him even in a short span of time. I want to save the relationship we have – the friendship. At one point, he did show me how he can be a good friend,and at one point too, I somehow made a promise that I’ll always be behind him. But now, confusion envelopes me. My friends knew I like this other guy but when I’m alone like now, I still think of **, and even the memories we once had. Why now? Why do the memories and the thoughts keep on coming back? I want to forget him, totally. Whenever I read stuff about him, I always find out how he still loves the girl. Even if he doesn’t say, I know, how he loves the girl, for like two years now. And I guess, after more than 20,000,000 rotations of the earth, the girl will always be special to him, and even continue loving her. Sometimes, I want to hate myself for liking guys who can never make me feel appreciated. Sometimes, I think I’m stupid, and why can’t I just be so insensitive, especially with him.
*sigh*
I hope soon, I will really be over him. I hope soon, the hurt will turn into happiness and contentment.I hope that “soon” is NOW.

I Just want to share this song I hear this morning:

How can you mend a broken heart..

How can you stop the rain from falling down?

How can you stop the sun from shining?

What makes the world go round?

How can you mend this broken man (i’m a girl though)?

How can a loser ever win?

Please help me mend my broken heart and let me live again

Have I been that Good?

funny and overwhelming.,I got a 4.0 in my FWDANCE, haha, and gosh! I also received a certificate from my prof, Ms. Calabio, haha. Thank goodness I chose her, haha,

throughout the course, I somehow learned how to dance, I mean a ‘real’ dance, haha. I thought I can’t but I’m glad I did. haha. whoa! funny! hahaha

and it makes me wonder: Have I been that good.? haha.

anyway, I’m really thankful for all the 4.0′s in my practical, to those guys who’ve been my partners, thank you! haha. (Andre, Tom and Jusi andEarl).

my certificate =D certificate with my course card

and of course to Ms. Calabio, hehe. for the dance steps, haha

I’m still in the highest cloud, haha, corny!

change topic:

ORG DEFENSE:

hmm, I don’t know how to start, hmmm.

done, and, ahh, can’t elaborate, so might as well not include the thing about our org defense, haha

anyway, the result will be out next week

so guys, keep on hoping and praying

*sigh*

Drama Mode I

LOVELIFE
Don’t confuse yourselves guys! I really don’t have a lovelife. I may seem to have one because I like this slash these guy(s), but I really don’t think that something good will take place or something beyond friendship will happen.
guy1: All I thought tapos na lahat. All I thought ayoko na sa kanya. Pero something tells me na gusto ko pa rin siya. After all, bakit ba hindi ko pa rin mapigilan na tingnan ang mga pictures namin before at magtry na malaman ang ilang mga bagay about him. I really don’t know if I’m stupid or makulit lang, I really wanted to stop liking him kasi I know, parang nagiging pampalipas oras niya lang ako, like he’s getting tooo nice just to make me smile or just to compliment. haaay, and ako naman bakit ba I still tolerate yung ginagawa niya, why can’t I just oppose everything he says?

guy2: Okay, sige na, 90% na siya. Pero hindi ko talaga siya love. Like what I’ve said, ayoko na muna main-love, lalo sa kanya, parang gumawa na naman ako ng way to hurt myself di ba? kasi I know, nothing naman talaga will hapen except na magstay ang friendship, like what I know about him, basta, yun na yun, I will not reveal here yung mga bagay na I know about him, let him live a normal life, ayokong manggulo. I’ll just stay in my place. Let things be, pero I know, friends lang talaga kami and I have to be thankful na he really is a ‘real’ one.

so parang ang drama ko ay:
CHOOSING ONE MEANS LETTING ONE GO (MAKE UP MY MIND)
TORN BETWEEN TWO LOVERS..LOVING YOU BOTH IS BREAKING ALL THE RULES (TORN BETWEEN TWO LOVERS)

HEHE

Random Thoughts

* I’m happy,what’s new? Not because I have a special someone (dahil matagal pa yata yun, haha), pero siguro of what I have now. I think I’m not incomplete pero kahit happy na ako, medyo naiisip ko pa rin kung may mas kukumpleto pa ba? haha, gulo! senseless, haha.

*I’m going to Ianna’s debut tomorrow night, I’ll be seeing my HS friends, yey!

*10 more days before I turn 19! =)

*May pasok pa, and okay pa ko, ang hindi lang okay sa akin ay kailangan ko pang i-drop yung STAT101,kasi naman, bakit ba hindi ko yun binura ng ayos, ayan tuloy!

APRIL: ENTRY NO.1

My first post for the month of April – the month of my birthday! Haha
I’m turning 19 na, and it make me feel happy and sad, happy kasi nga birthday, sana may graces from above and sad kasi I’ll be older na. huhu. Anyway, today’s Black Saturday and tomorrow will be Easter Sunday, we’ll be going to lola’s place and I have to bring my laptop because I want to finish my FILMCRI and my FILDIAS, nakakahiya na kay Ericka, ilang days na since she sent me the files and hindi ko pa siya naeedit, maybe, I’ll start editing later, after ko mag log out, hehe.

Hmmm, so far, this week? good and bad. Ayoko ng mag elaborate kung bakit bad because I don’t want anyone to get hurt sa entry na to, kung anuman yung nangyari, sa amin na lang muna ng groupmates ko.
Good, of course, marami, and siguro, sa next post ko na lang sasabihin. hehe, medyo tamad pa ko, hehe.

Anyway, next week, sana I don’t have finals sa FILDIAS na, because we really worked for our avp para maging maayos. Haay.

Nga pala, last Wednesday, Jaymee and I went to SM to buy a gift for Ian. We went to SMART kasi nga I have to know the details about their Smart Bro, and mom told me, next week, we’ll go to SMART, so I hope, I hope talaga na by next week, my net na yung laptop! hihi!

Sooooo Loooong

I feel so tired, but at least I finished all the stuff I need to pass for this coming week.
I finished my FILMCRI story concept entitled ISANG ARAW SA BUHAY NI CHELSY, it was an 11-page story concept, although there was no really required number of pages. So, anyway, I got home at around 7:00 pm. We had this culminating thing for FWDANCE, we did TANGO and it was a crap! Gosh! We’re all like guessing the steps, haha, after all my practical exams, ngayon pa ko nagloko. haha. after all the 4.0s in my practical quizzes.,okay,.so that was funny, imagine! I really didn’t know how to dance, I don’t like dancing! I’d rather perform 10 songs a day than memorize the steps for a dance.,well anyway,.I didn’t know what kind of spirit dwelt on me that I got all 4.0s in my cha-cha-cha;tango and manila swing performances. Haha.
Anyway, seriously, I’d miss Vinci’s frosh friends who also became my friend, I had funny moments with them.

IT’S CARMI’S BIRTHDAY TOMORROW! YEY! ZAGU AND SISIG ON MONDAY! HMMM

SCHED FOR NEXT WEEK:

APRIL 2:
ENGLTRI
editing of our avp
Carmi’s treat
interview with Lark for Danum officership (Kenneth just told me this)

APRIL3:
FILMCRI (lesson; submission of story concept)
FILDUBS (presentation of final project)
LITERA2 (giving of papers, have nothing to do)
NO FILDIAS

APRIL 4:
ENGLTRI
I promise to bring my cam so we can do camwhoring. haha

aww. I’d miss Angie and Pequet and Jenn too, if she’d drop INTRECO

I LOVE MY GROUPMATES

Blah_Blah_Blah

I’m tired, yeah, I’m stressed and it’s visible, see my eyes and you’ll see, but I’m trying to look pretty still. Haha.

This coming week will be the last regular week of the term, and it keeps me like, awww! I’m going to miss my friends again, but then again, it’s a musr, a term has to end in order for us to graduate, ehe, I mean, we all need to move on ayt? Hopefully, I’ll be able to do all of the required stuff for my majors and hmmm, I think, PE’s the only hassle subject, I don’t wanna dance on the 31st but Ms. Calabio said it’s our final practical exam, we still have classes on March 31 for our FILMCRI, I’m not sure of the time, either 9-12 or 8-1, yeah, I can’t remember, hehe.

I actually started the week wrong, and I must end it right, hehe, of course, I got so pissed at the start of the week all because of my kikay kiy – i forgot to put it in my bag, and it’s like, grrrr! I hate it. Thank God, I only have 2 subjects for that day, because if not, I’ll be in a bad mood for the whole day, haha.

Lovelife: Hmm, Ericka said I’m in love.,definitely not! I’m sure I’m not. Yeah, I like this guy but I don’t have plans of being serious with it, I will opt to stay as his friend because I enjoy being his friend, he’s really a wonderful friend. (Do I need to talk about spending another term with him next school year? hehe. I hope he will not read this, hehe)

Hmmm, talking about the last special guy in my life, naks! drama, we talked after a month. He asked me why am I not talking to him over YM, he implies why he’s always the one who starts the conversation, and I just don’t know how to answer him, I said I’m shy to start because he’s always on a busy mode, and he said it’s just a status, well, honestly, I want to talk to him, after what happened, I realized I have to just keep my mouth shut and forget about the bad things coz they will not help, I’m just shy because I know that he knows that I like him, that’s why and I’m like why will I be the one? I’m just keeping safe, and my friends advised me not to start the conversation, let him be the one.,

Ahmm,.I must be honest, I said I’m moving on.,and on the process of healing, and I guess, realizing that in a way, He’s still special does not affect what I’m doing and going through. I liked him once, I’ve been honest to him and I guess, what we have deserves a second chance, I don’t want to be so unreasonable, all because of that stupid ‘I DON’T CARE’ thing, yeah, he might seem ‘bad’ for what he said but I know I also have the fault because if I didn’t look at his survey, I wouldn’t know about it, but,.I’ve been hurt,and it’s done. Okay, do I need to forgive him where I can’t find any reasons to forgive? Do I need to think that what happened is all because of his faults? arrghh.,I don’t wanna think, I’m tired.,past is past, we’re okay now and that’s what matters most.